What is the difference between agape and phileo love?

Q: What is the difference between agape and phileo love?

Agape is deliberate, self-giving love of the will; phileo is warm affection between friends. The distinction is real but flexible — and John 21, where Jesus asks Peter 'lovest thou me?' three times, plays the two words against each other.

Greek has several words for love. Agape (G26) is love as choice and commitment — the word of 1 Corinthians 13 and "God so loved the world." Phileo (G5368) is the love of friendship and affection — the root of Phila-delphia, "brotherly love." The distinction shouldn't be pressed too hard (the words overlap in usage), but the New Testament does exploit it at one unforgettable moment.

By the Sea of Galilee, the risen Jesus asks Peter three times, "Lovest thou me?" In Greek, the first two questions use agapao; Peter answers each time with phileo — as if, after his denial, he dare not claim the higher word. The third time, Jesus comes down to Peter's word and asks with phileo:

“So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.”John 21:15 (KJV)

“He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.”John 21:17 (KJV)

Peter "was grieved because he said unto him the third time" — three questions to heal three denials, with Jesus meeting Peter exactly where his bruised honesty could reach.

In English all of this is invisible: the KJV renders both verbs "love." This is precisely the kind of nuance a concordance opens up.

Compare agapao and phileo yourself →

What is the difference between agape and phileo love?

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